The information on following pages is intended as a totally useless, non-informative, yawny, absolutely boring, worthless, annoyingly short guide of trying to corrupt the written, oral and verbal skills of all those people who are trying to learn english as a second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth or seventh language. If you can completely understand and speak more than seven languages, you have more serious issues in your life to take care of than worrying about learning english. Actually on a second note, i do understand six languages but yeah lets move on.

" Words speak louder than actions. They are heard quicker. The words we use and the way we use them can determine our future, both economically and socially. The language we use in speech and writing indicates to the world our worth, our capabilities, our usefulness. Our language mirrors our personality and character, our intellectual and social background, our habits of thinking, our attitudes, our feelings, our beliefs. The world form its opinion of us by what we say and how we say it."  Norman Lewis 

Here, you will find certain tips and tricks to enhance your English Language Skills. I would only focus on the English language that is being used in today's business and communication. This means you would find this page not very helpful if you intend to read those William Shakespear's type of classic english literature. Or, to put it the other way, this page is more about the English language being spoken and used in the business world, and very little or no attention is being given to the British, the Americans, or their English language. To say it in the words of Jose Ortega y Gasset (1883-1955) :

"To learn English you must begin by thrusting the jaw forward, almost clenching the teeth, and practically immobilizing the lips. In this way the English produce the series of unpleasant little mews of which their language consists." Jose Ortega y Gasset

According to the Oxford English Dictionary Pocket Edition 5th., ENGLISH is defined as: ADJECTIVE: of England or its people or language. NOUN: language of England, now used in U.K., U.S., and most Commonwealth countries; The people of England.

Here, however, "english" always refer to the language alone. I like the British people, they are very friendly. So friendly I still remember reading in history classes that people were protesting against the British sign placed outside public clubs and even some resturants in India during the colonial era, that read "dogs and indians not allowed". How stupid to protest against such a civilized sign, they were only letting people know in advance, so there won't be seen any natives walking in their own homeland freely. Europeans on the other hand were much smarter than the British; they occupied the foreign lands, labelled the land owners as "natives" or "indians" and call all others coming in as "immigrants". Some people do read their history and remember their forefather's sacrifices and learn from it. Some, just take everything for granted. I call that living in a bliss of ignorance. You can call it whatever you want, or ignore it and keep reading.

This page would serve as your starting point and perhaps with some useful information, which if used properly would help you enhance your vocabulary, comprehension, and general use of the language. This, in turn, would help in preparing for an effective practical usage of the language as well as would give you real hints on scoring high in the TOEFL,  IELTS and GRE exams. On the other hand, if you pay serious attention to whatever is written here, you might end up completely forgetting to read, write and understand the english language. If that situation arises, please consult the disclaimer and try to take your medications on time, in time and with time. Time is anyways a relative entity, but we will learn more about that in other sections. Lets just focus on the language for now.

Well folks, take my advice. You perhaps would find lots and lots of those braindumps and crams for those computer certifications. But I think you would hardly find any site that helps you get along with the language barrier - an exception are the government services offered free of cost. So, the word to remember is, Concentrate . Pay attention to details, start reading books on whatever subject you like as long as they are in english, watch movies- and besides watching those hot asses take a moment to understand whats going on, build a habit of reading newspaper articles - this would keep you in touch with current affairs and at the same time your word power would increase slowly, but dramatically. If english is not your first language, then remember you can never be as fluent as are those whose mother tongue is english - ofcourse exceptions are always there. Put it the other way, if your mother tongue (or native language as some call it) is Urdu, then you know it for sure that a foreigner can learn as much as s/he can, but won't be able to comment on Mirza Ghalib's poetry with the detail as you would be, without having even read his whole Dewaan-e-Ghalib. What I meant to say, is that except for those exceptional cases, the common man (yes, common man only because women are always special) don't have time to penetrate into the roots of some other language other than the mother tongue. Its not father's tongue, its mother's tongue, so yeah women are special. In this article you would find me abusing this language as much as it can be, without making any sense. I can write i in capital or small, i can write its with the ' or without it's. i can make words come where they shouldn't, i can forget to put a comma where it should be and i can end a sentence when it shouldn't, and you would find a lot of my own created words. If you understood this last sentence correctly, i just gave you too many hints indirectly on making a sentence sound grammatically correct by letting you know what are the errors and where to look for them. So hmm where were we.

So, have confidence. Speak it, no matter how you know it and how much you know it, the real purpose of a language is to communicate, to make other understand what you are thinking there in your mind - there, i purposely left the "s" in others. so what, bite me! the thing to remember is don't feel shy or frightened to speak or communicate in english if you dont know it well. Who cares. You should be proud of yourself that you atleast are learning more than one language and are much better than many people who just can't understand anything more than their own mother tongue. You'ld know it, slowly and slowly if you keep on using it more and more. Just because the english speaking people had once invaded, occupied, terrorized and ruled lots of parts of the world, makes us learn their language. Had one of our forefathers ruled them, they would be learning urdu, arabic, persian, chinese or something like that. No language in the world is perfect, and no single language in the world has the power to express all human emotions and feelings. English was primarily designed and used in today's world as a business communication tool, and being a multi-lingual person myself, i can see that it lacks certain expressions found in other more powerful oriental languages. As an example, there is no way my name can be said properly by a person who speaks english alone unless they opt to learn some foreign words! And the first part of respecting a person is to be able to say their name correctly, because that is how they prefer to be known and called. Talk about globalization!

"I know why the sun never sets on the British Empire: God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark". Duncan Spaeth
 

Ok since this ain't those general history class lectures, so stop yawning and keep reading. Yeps, you can *smile* and wink occasionally, but don't just stare at the monitor with your eyes wide open and all teeth sparkling. Your mama would think you've gone nuts or have transformed to a nerd.

And if the hollywood movies have made you believe they know it all, watch this "true" news report about "real" life scenario of some of America's best public school systems. And then you would be much more glad and much appreciative of your wonderful educational systems, which you perhaps don't appreciate normally.

And it might be interesting for you to know that "More than half of all working adults in Los Angeles are illiterate". Well lets take a break before we dig into language any further. So flip to the next pages and let the commercials start.